Volume 27 • No 03 • 2004
ISSN 0742-468X • Since 1978
On-line Since 2000
Why I Am Happy to be a Man
Editor’s Note: This just in from friend John Kercher. No doubt he snagged it from cyberspace. Still he deserves some credit for sending it to me. On the other hand, any man could have created this list.
Why am I happy to be a man?
- Your last name stays put.
- The garage is all yours.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- Chocolate is just another snack.
- You can never be pregnant.
- You can wear a white T–shirt to a water park.
- You can wear NO T–shirt to a water park.
- Car mechanics tell you the truth.
- The world is your urinal.
- You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
- You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
- Wrinkles add character.
- Wedding dress: $5000. Tux rental: $100.
- People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
- The occasional well rendered belch is practically expected.
- New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
- One mood … all the time.
- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
- You know stuff about tanks.
- A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
- You can open all your own jars.
- If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
- Your underwear is $8.95 for a three–pack.
- Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
- You almost never have strap problems in public.
- You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
- The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
- You only have to shave your face and neck.
- You can play with toys all your life.
- Your belly usually hides your big hips.
- One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
- You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
- You can “do” your nails with a pocketknife.
- You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
- You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 45 minutes.
No wonder men are happier!
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